One sunny summer morning a young man and woman set sail across the vast Lake Michigan, departing from the eastern shore at Milwaukee, Wisconsin, with Muskegon, Michigan as their destination.
The weather and waters were cooperative, with a nice tailwind behind them.
At about 5 miles out, our sailing duo suddenly dropped their sails. They ignored the rudder and engine. They completely disengaged from any actions that would steer or propel their boat towards their destination.
And for the next number of hours, they just drifted.
They bounced around hither and yon, as the wind and the waves moved them in no particular direction.
I’m sure you’re shocked to find out that our sailing team never made it to Muskegon. Actually, you’re not shocked at all.
Funny thing–many ARE shocked when they get to the end of their year, look back over the last 365 days, and don’t see any real change, any real progress, in themselves or in their lives.
Their lives are essentially the same from one year to the next. And during a quiet moment, they wonder why.
AIMLESS DRIFTING DOESN’T WORK
But it’s really not complicated, is it? We don’t just aimlessly float ourselves into thriving scenarios. My lost kite flapping around way up there in the sky probably won’t magically land in my backyard.
We don’t accidentally drift ourselves into deeper meaning or greater happiness or bigger achievement, anymore than a sail-less boat gets across a lake to a specific destination point or a lost kite lands safely back home.
And yet, many live as if this is exactly the way life works.
But it doesn’t work this way–not at all. Cars need to be driven by a driver, sailboats need to be sailed by a sailor, and lives need to be lived–and directed–by people fully in charge of themselves.
Being “fully in charge” of yourself doesn’t at all mean that you can control everything, anymore than a sailor can control the wind–good luck.
But it absolutely DOES mean that you fully control all that is within your legitimate power and authority to control–your sails, your rudder, your engine, your vessel, your destination. And to add emphasis: YOUR sails, YOUR rudder, YOUR engine, YOUR vessel, YOUR destination.
Why the emphasis? Because this is the precise point where many fail–focusing too much on what others are doing or not doing, and perhaps even trying to control other people’s outcomes.
But the energy they’re putting into trying to control other people’s lives is necessary time and energy they’re taking away from their own “program”. This never ends well.
FULLY IN CHARGE
If you intend to be fully in charge this next year, then consider these truths, once again–truths that we all really do know, intuitively as well as from experience–but is useful to be reminded of at the start of every new year.
In order to grow and progress, among other things, we must have:
1- a goal (or more than one)
2- a plan to reach our goal
3- motivation and energy to execute our plan
5- supportive truth-tellers who can encourage us and give us helpful feedback
6- resilience for when it’s time to make adjustments (to the plan or the goal)
Each of these 6 things are essential, non-negotiables. Leave any of them out and you slow yourself down. Put them all together and you cut through the water with your sail up and a strong wind at your back.
What will you do this next year? Now’s the time to get this straightened out. Or, if you’re reading this mid-year, what can you start doing today to begin turning the boat around and getting yourself where you need to be?
Do these 6 things and you’ll be moving in the right direction. If you need support, or assistance thinking something through, or a conversation partner to get you going, let me know–that’s why I’m here.
Happy New Year 🙂