One reason we may have difficulty progressing is because of what I call the “Character Barrier”.
Ok, time to get a little philosophical, so stay with me.
“Doing” flows out of “being”. What’s on the inside eventually shows up on the outside.
If you want to change what a person does, you first have to change who that person is.
Are you still with me? What in the world am I talking about, and who cares?
Here’s the thing: many are looking for the latest fads, tricks, tips, strategies, solutions, models, and paradigms of success, but don’t have the inner character to CONTAIN them.
They are like a leaky bucket.
Huh?
Let me give an example. Time management. Do any of us really need to attend another seminar or read another book on time management? Heck no. Do we really need yet another time management tool? Probably not.
So why do these same people (perhaps all of us at some point!) still have difficulty managing time? They (we) have spent the money on all the seminars and books and binders and tools. Why isn’t any of it working?
None of it's working because time management is about more than these outer tools. Time management is first and foremost about our inner character, for example:
- when we need to, are we good at saying no to other people who eat up our valuable time? This is about being clear within ourselves on what is most important at a particular point in time and communicating that boundary with others. It’s also about being able to hold onto what’s important to us in the midst of someone else pushing against our boundaries.
- when we need to, are we good at saying no to ourselves? If we can’t delay gratification, we will end up not getting things done and being poor managers of our time. This is about having boundaries with ourselves.
- are we seeing that our use of time is our responsibility and not someone else’s? So if things aren’t going well in this regard, we are seeking effective solutions. We are ultimately proactive in taking ownership of how we use this finite amount of time available to us. It’s our job to do this for ourselves, not someone else’s job to do it for us.
So these are some basic examples of what I mean by inner character. There are more that I could come up with, but you get the idea.
We can have all the fancy tools in the world and the most perfect system that the time management world has ever developed, AND we may have the skills and know-how to implement these tools and systems.
BUT . . . if we lack the inner resources (i.e., character structure) to actually pull off the implementation, all that outer stuff doesn’t matter one bit! It’s wasted money.
We can apply this idea of a "character barrier" to other areas of our lives besides time management. Wherever you find yourself continuing to struggle or getting stuck, consider why. There may be any number of reasons why.
And one of those reasons could be that a part of our character needs to “grow up” and develop some more.
When the new tools and tips and tricks and methods aren’t getting you “past stuck”, look deeper. The problem may be inside.
(My thanks to Dr. Henry Cloud for his great insight and inspiration to me over the years)