There are many ways that any one of us can limit ourselves and our chances of success. We all trip over ourselves and get in our own way from time to time, in one way or another.
Some of these self-limiting ways are minor and have rather small consequences. Some, however can lead to major consequences.
Our self-limitation most often is the direct result of what’s going on in our heads:
- our perceptions
- our interpretations
- our choices
- our attitudes
- our core beliefs
- our silent assumptions
Without a doubt, our actions and behaviors can also limit and sabotage our success, but actions and behaviors tend to be the result of how we think.
One important way that our thinking limits us is by the rigid “rules”, boundaries, and thought patterns we use to:
- view the world
- solve problems
- create something new
We become “boxed in” by how we are thinking, and eliminate any possibilities that are outside the box. And, many times the answer can only be found outside the box.
Usually we have no idea that we’ve made these rigid rules for ourselves.
I have a puzzle for you to solve. Get a piece of paper, and draw out these nine dots as shown below.
Now, using only four lines AND without picking up your pencil from the paper, see if you can connect all the dots.
How did you do? Can’t get it? Keep trying. I’ll reveal the answer further down—don’t skip ahead and go there until you really give up!
As I’ve said, one specific way we definitely limit ourselves is by how we THINK. Very often we get stuck in seeing things only one way and missing the greater reality.
It may be that our thinking is accurate, but just doesn’t go far enough.
Sometimes our thinking may be too rigid and lack flexibility in how we are seeing something. We need plasticity, not rigidity.
Sometimes our thinking is NOT accurate at all, quickly sending us down the wrong path and getting us very lost.
Other times our thinking gets us into trouble because of the assumptions we make.
Any great invention (well, actually any invention, “great” or not), was the result of someone thinking outside the box—it had to be. Think of the Wright Brothers, for example (or their genius predecessor, Leonardo Da Vinci 500+ years earlier). They had to see something others couldn’t see.
They were definitely thinking outside the box, while the naysayers were imprisoned within the box of their own self-limiting “reality”.
When everyone around them thought they were lunatics, scoffing “If people were meant to fly, they’d have wings!”, Wilbur and Orville stayed focused on that realm of possibility that existed outside the lines.
We could say the same for Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, Henry Ford, Robert Fulton, Steve Jobs.
Artists of all kinds are cut from this same piece of cloth that looks outside the box. Michelangelo said “In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”
He saw something that was impossible to see while staying inside the box. Where others saw only a piece of marble, Michelangelo saw “David”.
And not just with inventions and great pieces of art, but with history-changing social movements as well, for good or evil. Their leaders had a vision and could see things others couldn’t see: Jesus the Christ, Hitler, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King, Jr., Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Pancho Villa.
What about the great pioneers and explorers? Men and women who went WAY outside the box to explore brave new worlds: Columbus, Magellan, Hillary and sherpa Tenzing, De Soto, Amundsen, Cortez, Amelia Earhart, and all the astronauts.
How in the world do you get a vision (and maintain a vision) to sail a ship around the world when everyone around you says the world is flat? And sure enough, as I stand on the shore of Lake Michigan here in Chicago and stare out at the horizon, yes indeed, the world sure looks flat.
And then there’s the vast difference between some intellectual argument in a 15th century pub about the shape of the earth, and quite another thing altogether to actually “put feet to those beliefs” and set sail straight towards, and directly into, what sure looks like the end of the earth.
Yes, all of these revolutionary thinkers were drawing outside the lines and thinking outside the box. Despite all the naysayers. “We never did it this way before.” “You’re crazy—it can’t be done.” “Yeah, right—‘brilliant’ idea (snicker, snicker).”
Back to the puzzle. Here’s the solution:
If you couldn’t solve it, what happened? Most people can’t until they know the “trick”—don’t feel bad!
Here’s probably what happened: you limited yourself by ASSUMING I said something in the directions that I gave. I said, “using only four lines AND without picking up your pencil from the paper, see if you can connect all the dots.”
Most people assume that their lines can’t extend beyond the box. Of course, I never said that in my instructions!
So, what if I had added a few simple words to my instructions: “ . . . and you can use the entire sheet of paper to draw your 4 lines.”
This simple addition would have opened up new possibilities, and your chance of solving the puzzle would have dramatically increased.
So what’s the lesson here for all of us? When faced with one of life’s “puzzles”:
- Challenge your assumptions. Which means you have to first be aware of your assumptions! Look for logical fallacies. (extra credit: if you can’t recite a list of at least 10 categories of logical fallacies, go learn them!)
- Challenge other’s assumptions.
- Beware of GROUP THINK, that powerful attraction to go along with the crowd, even when we know the crowd is wrong! (yep, experimentation has shown that that’s exactly what happens during group think).
- Train yourself to think of POSSIBILITIES. What could be? If success were guaranteed, what would I do?
- Get in the habit of asking “Why?” and “Why not?” Don’t just ask others these questions. Ask yourself, also.
Do you have any other lessons to add?
Keep challenging your status quo, and getting outside of whatever unhelpful boxes you've been unnecessarily constrained by.