First, a quote: “On an important decision one rarely has 100% of the information needed for a good decision no matter how much one spends or how long one waits. And, if one waits too long, he has a different problem and has to start all over. This is the terrible dilemma of the hesitant decision maker”. – Robert K. Greenleaf in “The Servant as Leader”
Today we’re thinking about HESITATION.
Definition of hesitate: “pause before saying or doing something, especially through uncertainty”. (Google/Oxford Languages)
. . . especially through uncertainty.
If we want to figure out why we hesitate–and I’m speaking here about hesitating in making a decision, and related, hesitating in taking action–then we can assume it’s because we’re wrestling with some form of uncertainty.
At least this is one way of looking at it. But let’s go with it.
What are the possible reasons for uncertainty? Here are a few.
1) FEAR. We’re afraid to take action. Or if you prefer a softer version of fear, you’re anxious, and you’re worrying about a bad outcome.
Sometimes fear is present in us for good cause–our amygdala, or our “survival brain” as I like to
call it–is tuning into a legitimate threat, a clear and present danger.
So fear is useful in these circumstances.
But I’m not focusing on that kind of fear today, rather, I’m looking at “worry”–a future-focused hand-wringing of a bad outcome when there’s insufficient evidence (or perhaps even COUNTER-evidence) that this bad outcome is likely to occur. Good old “catastrophic thinking”.
2) INADEQUATE UNDERSTANDING. We’re not taking action because we’re still unclear on our options. We’re not afraid or anxious, we’re simply unclear. We’re midstream in our thought process and haven’t completely “crunched the numbers” yet. We’re still “researching”.
3) TIMING.
We’re not afraid, we’re not worrying, and we DO adequately understand the options before us, AND we’ve actually made a decision which option we will execute. However, we have a good reason that we’re waiting. We’ve come to this decision to wait thoughtfully and rationally.
Perhaps it’s waiting to make a financial investment, or sell a house, or take a new job. Good timing is an important part of any decision. Sometimes the best thing is to act now, and sometimes the best thing is to planfully wait.
What about in your experience? Have you had other reasons for hesitating? There are
probably others.
So what are some possible alternatives to hesitating?
For FEAR: if it’s legitimate fear, ie, there’s an imminent, real threat, then continue hesitating until you can thoughtfully assess the threat and deal with it intelligently. The best options may be one of the 3 F’s–Fight, Flight, or Freeze.
However if it’s only worry, and there is no actual threat, then calmly think it through. I know, easier said than done! More on this in the future.
For INADEQUATE UNDERSTANDING: well, of course, work to obtain sufficient understanding! Keep learning and digesting. Perhaps use a trusted friend, advisor, or colleague as a sounding board. Perhaps do more research.
But here’s my CAUTION: I said work to obtain sufficient understanding, not PERFECT understanding. This
leads to reason #1 for hesitating–worry. We worry that we don’t know enough to take action.
Listen, this will keep you stuck. You don’t need perfect knowledge, because that’s an endless rabbit hole where you’ll waste precious time, energy, and resources, and you’ll still be at “square one”, which will then eventually creates ANOTHER problem because you waited too long!
You need SUFFICIENT knowledge, whatever that is.
For TIMING issues: continue thoughtfully. That’s it. You’ve made a thoughtful decision to wait. Just avoid veering into worry, where you’ll get stuck if you don’t recognize it.
That’s it for today. Get back to whatever you were doing, and have a great week!