Our Observing Self

Hello once again,

I hope all is well in your world, and that you’re managing stress effectively and keeping burnout far from you.

Today, we’re talking about a critical concept that leads to a powerful practice in our battle against burnout.  I’ll just hit the basics.

Not only is this a critical idea for burnout prevention, but for overall self-management, which is a high-impact skill set relevant for everyone–in fact, I have self-management in my list of the top 3 skill sets of a high performing life, regardless of your profession. But we’ll get into that list another time.

So here it is.  Let’s talk about the What, the Why, and the How.

THE WHAT . . .

We all have different “parts” of ourselves that have different functions and abilities.  One part that is often unknown, underutilized, or underdeveloped is our Observing Self, or Observational Self, if you prefer.  I use both terms.

What’s that?  Just what it says–our Observing Self has the function of making observations about ourselves.

It’s part of our self-awareness mechanism.  

It’s our ability to stand outside of ourselves, so to speak, and observe or witness things about ourselves, ideally in real-time, but also about the past, eg, our behavior, our feelings and emotions, our thoughts, our interactions with others, our experience.

In a sense, it’s like looking in a mirror and checking ourselves out.  We might see a smudge on our face and say, “Hey, what’s going on with that smudge?”

Now I know what you’re thinking.  This is basic stuff.  Who cares?  We should all care, which I’ll get into in a minute.  But it’s important to say that we all have different levels of ability with effectively utilizing our Observing Self.  

Some people are really good at it, and some people are not good at it at all.  Perhaps most people are somewhere in the middle.

But it is something we can all develop, so that it’s a strong asset in our lives, not just for managing stress and avoiding burnout, but for so many other reasons, personally and professionally.

THE WHY . . .

Why should I care about having a robust Observing Self that I actually utilize?  Because I can only make adjustments on things I’m aware of.

If I’m not good at observing what’s going on with me, independently or in relation to others, I can’t make course corrections, which are often recommended, and sometimes necessary.

If I’m on a road trip and the sign says “Bridge Out Ahead”, and I can’t read, or choose not to pay attention, I may have a long fall off the cliff in a few seconds.

I can’t adjust what I can’t see,  And some things need to be seen.

When it comes to burnout, our Observing Self is crucial to develop and utilize.  Why?  Because burnout NEVER ever ever happens in “one jump”.  There are warning signs all along the way!  There are multiple signs that say, “Bridge Out”, “Detour”, “Trespassing”, “Turn Left”, etc, but when we’re burning out we blow off the signs.  That’s ALWAYS how burnout happens–there are no exceptions.

Or, we actually don’t SEE the warning signs.  THAT’S why we need a strong Observational Self.

THE HOW . . .

Ok, if you’re one of the growth-minded people who haven’t clicked away and are still with me–bonus points for you!  That means you’re invested in your growth and your future.

But HOW do we make this practical, and begin developing our Observing Self?  Or perhaps you’re doing pretty well in this area, but want to do even better.  How?

You already know the answer–by PRACTICE.  Without going into neuroscience too much, you can “rewire your brain” to build habits and increase skills by consistent practice, so that the new “wiring” makes it easier and easier to do whatever you’re practicing.

So what could you be practicing with this?

There are so many things you could do, and if you’re already practicing some kind of mindfulness, you’re well on your way.  And if not, that would be a great start–some basic mindfulness.  If you want a couple resources, reply to this email and I’ll help you out.

But without getting “all fancy”, simply begin practicing taking a couple breaths and observing or noticing what’s going on for you at that very moment.

How relaxed vs stressed are you?  How are you feeling physically?  What emotions are you aware of right now?

That’s a quick, simple version of checking in with yourself.  You’re observing what you’re experiencing, right now.

And of course, if you notice something, like a lot of stress, that’s not serving you well, then you can consider if there’s any course correction you can make.  This is getting into another set of skills–making course corrections–so we’ll stop there with it.

But the bottom line is this:  we all need a strong Observational Self that we are regularly utilizing to notice and recognize when things are going well and when they’re not.

And, we can strengthen our Observing Self by daily practice, multiple times a day, simply by consciously and intentionally checking in with ourselves and noticing how we’re doing.

That’s all for now .  Start/keep practicing.  This is a core skill in avoiding burnout and staying fresh everyday.

Until next time . . . 

Sean Cox, Chicago